


& still have begged for more

by sundaystorm



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, this webseries is ruining me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:59:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2575718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaystorm/pseuds/sundaystorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura doesn’t know how it starts. Or when. She thinks it’s been in the back of her mind since day one, but she didn’t allow herself to acknowledge it until this very moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	& still have begged for more

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still not over episode 28 so this happened. Blame Laura and Carmilla's social media. Title from My Fair Lady's I Could Have Danced All Night.

Laura doesn’t know how it starts. Or when. She thinks it’s been in the back of her mind since day one, but she didn’t allow herself to acknowledge it until this very moment.

There was always something more important. Betty and the other girls going missing, Danny being cute and flirty, weird things happening in the library, discovering her roommate was a vampire, playing Buffy the vampire slayer…

And now LaFontaine is missing too. And Laura is convinced it’s her fault. And she knows that the last thing she should be thinking about is a pretty girl, but when Carmilla reassures her that none of what’s happening is because of her, she can’t help it.

It’s not just a mild attraction anymore, and it actually kind of sucks.

But she opens her mouth and the dumbest thing comes out.

"…And whether the person you like is gonna be there…"

She glances at Carmilla and shakes her head. She can almost hear Carmilla’s voice clearly echoing in her ears and saying  _"smooth, sundance",_  and she hates herself a bit.

For a fraction of second, she convinces herself that she only turned to look at Carmilla because she was talking to her, and not  _about_  her.

But she’s embarrassed herself a million times in her nineteen years of life, so it’s easy for her to act like nothing happened and keep talking.

And somehow she manages to get Carmilla to open up to her and talk about her past.

This isn’t a tragic backstory, this isn’t about ex-lovers or death. This is Laura being genuinely curious about her roommate’s past life. This is Laura seeing Carmilla’s smile, and thinking that it’s probably the first time she does that so…freely. It’s a genuine smile. Laura decides she likes it, and she can’t hide her own sheepish smile if she tried.

Carmilla even seems a bit shy when she talks about waltzing being scandalous and she leans closer. And it’s the moment she extends her hand and Laura so eagerly gets up and takes it, that she realizes that she’s in too deep and there’s no turning back now.

She likes Carmilla. She likes her roommate from hell that was all too annoying when they first met; her roommate who was only trying to push her away to protect her from her mother and send her back home so she would be safe; her roommate who often speaks words Laura can barely understand, but still makes everything sound like some ancient and amazing tale.

It’s a dangerous feeling, but she’s willing to let that devour her insides.

"Partners were face to face…chest to chest…"

Laura remembers that time they were supposed to “hang out” at the Zeta’s party. The atmosphere is similar, and this is quite possibly the closest she’s been to Carmilla. Her hands feel tingly, and she’s positive that Carmilla can _hear_  the way her heartbeat is speeding up by the second. She wonders how different things would be if no one interrupted them then.

She wonders how different things would be if Perry wasn’t there.

The dance is brief. It only lasts two seconds, and Laura swears that she could stay in that moment forever and be perfectly content. Dancing, and twirling, and Carmilla using that husky voice and looking at her like that. What she wouldn’t give to be a 1698 girl and meet Carmilla there. Minus the whole dying bit, of course.

And the dancing may be over, but her feelings are still there. Growing stronger, threatening to crack open her rib cage and run free.

Carmilla interlaces their fingers together, and Laura doesn’t want to break out in song, she wants to break out in poetry and recite every sappy poem she’s ever read to Carmilla. Because she didn’t have to do that, she could easily let go of Laura’s hand and they could go back to their routine. It’s not what Laura wants, but it’s what’s supposed to happen. Right?

She can feel it, her chest getting tighter. It hurts.

_Falling, falling, falling._

"So, you had some fun after all."

And just like that the magic leaves, and their moment ends.

Laura feels exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally. She hates that she even has to compare the situations, but her infatuation with Danny didn’t feel quite as… _hard_. It was light, and happy, and she didn’t have to hide it — which made everything easier. But Carmilla’s the opposite. The feeling is strong, and forceful, and it makes Laura panics as if her house was on fire and she has to get out of there as soon as possible.

Laura still wants to follow the light.

She doesn’t even notice the yawn, or the fact that she can barely feel her own hand and skin because Carmilla’s touch burned and shook her like an earthquake. But Carmilla is offering to sleep on the floor just so she can get a good night’s sleep, and Laura can’t say no. All she wants to do is smash her head against her desk repeatedly because  _of course_. Of course she has feelings for her roommate. Her  _vampire_  roommate. Of-freaking-course.

She plops herself down on Carmilla’s bed, muttering to herself “Worst crush ever” before falling head first onto the mattress. It takes her a few moments to compose herself and actually get ready to sleep, but the first thing she notices is that Carmilla didn’t steal her pillow this time, but one of her t-shirts and is using it as a pillow case. She wants to find it irritating (because Carmilla could just  _ask_ ), but instead, it brings yet another smile to her face.

Laura lets out a heavy sigh as she kicks off her shoes, looking over at Perry who is sound asleep and decides that she’s going to dedicate all of the next day to look for LaF. Not only they’re one of Laura’s best friends, but seeing Perry breakdown like that was a real eye opener.

She turns to her side, facing the wall and covering herself with the blankets. She’s not going to think about Carmilla anymore. She’s going to pretend that the beating of her heart calmed down by now, that each palpitation isn’t screaming  _'say-some-thing-say-some-thing'_. Waltzing wasn’t poetical, and interlaced fingers aren’t ripping her apart, making her crave something she can’t have.

And yet…

"You know," Carmilla’s voice startles Laura, but she stays still, waiting for her to continue. "Walls aren’t soundproof. Careful what you say, you don’t know who could hear you."

Cold. In the back of her neck and down her spine. It feels like someone’s pouring a cold bucket of water on her, and she shuts her eyes really hard, willing herself to wake up because maybe this is a nightmare and she’s already asleep. It stopped feeling like a dream when Carmilla let go of her hand, and now it feels like she’s being haunted by her bad choices.

But before she can say anything—“Goodnight, cupcake.”

_That stupid vampire_.


End file.
